Climate Change


How many times have you been told you need to help stop climate change (supposedly single handedly)? I’m willing to bet it’ll be in the dozens. It appears that whenever you need to carry out a task, be it a simple, every-day task or a complicated scheme, the impacts of this task on climate change need to be considered, because we all need to ‘save the planet’ from our oh so disgusting and piteous selves.

The people that are telling you that you need to ‘save the planet’ and ‘think of the polar bears’ are usually single, middle aged women who have no job and nothing better to do than protest about something that they clearly haven’t thought through.

All it takes is a few minutes skim reading a brief summary of the earth’s history, and even an idiot can tell that the process the earth is going through at the moment – or about to enter fully – is entirely natural. We haven’t broken the planet, we haven’t messed it up as a species, all we’ve done is sped up an entirely natural process which we should easily be able to cope with and adapt to.

The protesters will tell you that when we enter the next ice age, we’re all going to be doomed, so we must start¬†recycling¬†paper and farting less. Firstly, we are still technically in an ice age, so already you’re hearing a falsehood. Secondly, if humanity has survived countless other ‘ice ages’ before now, and emerged intact, I seriously doubt that with our technology and infrastructure that we possess at the moment, we won’t be able to survive a bit of ice. Having said that, my doubts about humanity’s future increase every day. All it takes is anything Hannah Montana themed (amongst many other things) to crush any optimism before it has even germinated.

At the full extent of the ‘last ice age’, not all of the planet was covered with ice as you may have been led to believe. There were still plenty of areas of land with no ice covering them. In fact, the ice didn’t even extend to the very south of England. Indeed, it will become much colder all over the world, but we can easily adapt. Unfortunately for supposed lesser species, they lack the brainpower to adapt nearly as quickly as us humans and many species will die, which is extremely undesirable. Animals are cute. They keep us company. But it’s a natural process, and more should evolve to replace them – as went the entire history of life on earth before now. It’s not as if humans are wiping our every shred of life on the planet other than our own. Evolution will occur, more animals will appear (albeit in a long time), it’s that simple.

Everyone has become so caught up with ‘saving the planet’ that the measures they take interfere with basic practicality. You can’t print anything any more, because that one piece of paper you use from a pack of several hundred will definitely result in an impossibly high amount of trees being cut down. All your fault, Mr. Smith from London. The Amazonian villagers and polar bears will commit their lives to tracking you down and destroying you. There’s no escape.